“I have a habit of failing.” There I said it.
It’s hard to say, it’s hard to write, and especially hard to leave up there on the paper.
Hard doesn’t mean wrong. Because, as hard as it is, I can fell the truth and it’s that truth we need to discuss. While I know I am a talented intuitive and excellent coach helping my clients achieve more than they can dream… I don’t do that for myself.
I have a habit of doing EXACTLY the things that will keep me small, hidden and tucked away from experiencing my hearts desire.
When I feel the stress of lack… I use more of what I don’t have… and that creates more lack. Yes, Yes… even though I am fully aware of how the universe is answering my call for more lack… I still sing out the verses of “I don’t have…” or “my bank account is empty again”. The Law of Attraction works, I have manifested such wonderful experiences in my life as well as such extreme challenges. All I can say, is… I am human. I forget to allow more… and I believe the world when it convinces me that I am small and unworthy.
When I stand back, and I hold my life out in front of me… and I detach… I see the steps. (Actually I hear the steps, like a small voice providing suggestions and guidance)… and yet… This weekend, I ignore that voice and wallowed in my habit of sabotage. Failure. It’s a hard word to write, but in writing it… I own it. It’s not the economy, the government, my family, my kids or job. I own it.
When I don’t have money, I find ways to spend more.
When I don’t have time, I find ways to waste it.
When I am experiencing great success, I find ways to convince myself to give up on the idea.
This is my habit of failing.
I have at least 10 clients I can think of off the top of my head who I have successfully coached to take a different approach. It occurs to me that I’m excellent at coaching because I can really connect at the level of the issue, and with detached psychic awareness connect to the solution.
Today. With you all as my witness… together we will do the same for me.
Habit vs. Ritual
Habit is pushing against awareness… ritual is allowing awareness
Habit is auto-pilot …. ritual is intentional mindfulness
Habit doesn’t serve you… ritual is completely about you
Habit keeps your small… ritual allows you to expand beyond limitations into joy and freedom
Habit keeps you rigid … ritual allows you to experience childlike wonder
Habit fills time… ritual allows you to experience moments.
If I were coaching me
I would understand that my power is born in my stillness and silence. And in those moments when I an given thoughts and ideas and suggestions, they are important and should be written down, whether I heed them immediately or review them later and realize they were indeed directives from guides and non-physical loved ones… I am powerful, and I am responsible for keeping myself small and hidden.
The “one thing” that I keep allowing to step into my thoughts and worry and stress me… and control me…. is there because I allow it.
I am responsible for clearing that energy and taking steps to release it. The vibration of worry, stress and lack attract more worry, stress and lack. That lower vibration feeds our lower self, or ego as it looks for evidence to prove the current situation and circumstances.
BUT the solution to problems can not be found at the same level as the problem. RIGHT!?!
If your inner voice is keeping you small, encouraging you to do more of what will keep you small, it’s because we’ve trained it to do that. It’s comfortable there. There is plenty of evidence to support it and everyone around you will agree with it… social media, the news, your friends and neighbors will all tell you “how hard it is” and push you towards the instant gratification of spending or eating or drinking or bad relationships… That ego is like a Huge Dog pulling at a leash, tugging you down the street and you may feel helpless to walk in the direction you choose.
But. Even an old dog can learn new tricks. The reason we all need a coach, is because coaches help us train ourselves to hear the voice of our soul. To allow that voice more room in our lives and which in turn allows that voice to grow stronger and bigger.
Now, imagine walking (2) dogs. One your ego, One the voice of your soul. Now imagine both dogs well trained and easily manageable and both stopping as you choose the direction you walk.
Your ego is meant to be a companion on your journey, same as the voice of your soul.
My take away from this blog post
I choose. I have choices. Yesterday is history, I’ve made mistakes and I own them. Tomorrow is the future, it is a promise that I can address only by experiencing this moment by being fully expressed, genuine, authentic and allowing the whispers of my heart to gain traction as I move towards my soul purpose. Our lives are about the journey and every day is a wonderful new beginning. Of course, we live with the aftermath of yesterday, however it doesn’t define us, unless we allow it.
Today, I will choose to meditate. 5 minutes, 10 minutes… it doesn’t matter. Today I will change my vibration and rise above the problem and allow the solutions to come to me. I will write them down. I will trust them. I will follow them. I will decide to stop my habit of self sabotage, and step out of that story and into another story. A story of success. A story of joy and freedom.
Our lives are stories about our journey, we tell ourselves what’s possible and we believe it.
Today, I will create a ridiculously amazing story about what’s possible.
What about you?